I need an Orkin Man!

So my most recent analogy about boys and dates is that I feel like I have thrown a snap-n-pop on the ground and it didn't do anything. It was a dud. And I know you remember how pissed off that made you as a kid. Unless said pop was being thrown at you, and in that case you were grateful. But that's another story altogether. So, to update the dating situation...saturday night was a dud. Please talk to me if you're sitting across the table from me. Act interested even if you're not. Please. And if you're gonna act like you have no idea what's going on, don't ask for a kiss. Because as you found out, I'm gonna say no. And that will be the end of it. If by some chance I stay the night at your house, please flush the toilet after you've gone #2 ok? I don't care if it makes the shower water get really hot or cold. It's gross to not flush that. Because the girl in your bed really doesn't want to see that first thing in the morning, especially if she drank too much the night before and therefore is slightly nauseous. And sometimes, you look really good on paper, but you're just getting on my nerves. If I've been driving and doing shit since 5:30 in the am, and I accept your dinner offer at 7:45, DO NOT get pouty when I'm tired and don't want you all over me with your non-kissing-good lips. I wanna go home and get in my bed and sleep. Don't push your luck. So tonight is another date, and I'm not putting that much hope on this one either. I think it's gonna be one of those that says I'm too serious and uptight. Whatever.

So...I was thinking today about the type of person I want, besides the stuff on the list, like, moments that I would like to have with someone. Sitting on the couch on rainy nights watching a movie and it leading to more...laughing at really silly movies...understanding when I've had a long day and just want to sit on the couch or in the bed and read in the quietness...asking me if I need anything when you get up to go in the kitchen...standing in the bathroom talking to me when I'm in the shower and knowing when to join me and when not to...holding my hand when we're in the car...lazy sundays with coffee and the paper...paying attention when I read out loud something I think is interesting...having a political opinion...respect...hard work...liking me for my mind and personality...I think I could go on and on, but I"m gonna stop.